Men’s Group Facilitation Guidelines

Schedule 

3 month term / 90 days (3 per year) ie. Fall, Winter, Spring. (We take summers off due to everyones busy schedules over the summer)

Whoever is leading the 3 month term picks the dates and sends everyone a calendar invite.

*Meetings happen on the first three _________________’s of the month (some opt for 2x per month)

Role Call

To keep the container cohesive and honor the commitment each member is making we strive for a level of attendance to be at least 7 of 9 meetups in a term.  Exceptions are made as life can disrupt even the most organized and committed. The summer months are also an attendance exception period. When attendance drops below 7 a check in is made to the individual to see what they are needing, what’s going on, have priorities shifted, can the group support in any way.  


Departure: 

Life happens and the ebb and flow of group members may mean that some will leave the group from time to time.  We ask that departing the group happen at the end of the 3 month commitment period, unless it’s an emergency. 

Please let the group know with as much advance notice as possible so we can take time to reflect, say our goodbyes and let anyone on the waitlist of an opening in the next term. 

Topics

There are a few ways to facilitate topics during each meeting. Here is what we’ve landed on after a few years of trying several ways: There are 3 terms (Fall, Winter, Spring). Each term is 3 months long/ 90 days. During each term two men will volunteer to facilitate the term. Picking topics, guiding, holding attendance accountable, timekeeper, etc.

It’s easiest to set up a google sheets spreadsheet or calendar invites with the dates, topics, notes, etc and make it shareable with the group. 

Meeting Outline

Meetings start promptly at ________. (arrive early for more open social time)

  • Timekeeper:  Timekeeper tracks meeting start, intro, meditation, group shares, etc. to keep the group’s focus. 

  • Meeting leader(s) takes the group through a 5 min meditation, sharing a reading or poem.  

  • Check in’s:  Keeping check-ins to under 5 minutes is helpful in allowing enough time for the evening topic to be explored.  This also keeps folks clear and direct with what is going on.

  • **If anyone clearly needs more support based on their check in’s, time is allotted for them to get the support of the group. 

  • Topic:  Meeting lead takes the group through their topic or chosen experience for the remainder of the time.  

Check in’s

There are a variety of check ins that can be utilized as prompts.  Here are a few:

  1. Celebrations and Mournings: Something we are celebrating, and something we are mourning. 

  2. P.I.E.S.S:  Physical body, Intellectual self, Emotional self, Spiritual self, Sexual self.

  3. What is Present:  Share what is most alive in this moment 

  4. Check In: General check in with what is happening in life at the moment. 

  5. 3 Words: Choose 3 words to describe yourself, situation, emotional state, or process.


Trust and Confidentiality

All information shared within the mens circle is to remain solely within the circle. It is a circle of trust and vulnerability, and it’s the responsibility of all men to maintain that sacred trust.

Support and Intent

Our intention is to create a container of support to encourage inner wisdom and knowing.  To cultivate our individual self sorting capability that is intrinsically known.  It is our primary intent to provide empathetic witnessing and clear presence to the process of unfolding into oneself.  To hold a sacred container of trust and care that allows the soul and truth to unveil itself. A safe place to shed layers of falsehoods, navigate the sometimes murky waters of emotional turbulence, decipher personal patterns, and lean on one another for support.


Shares

Group shares are an encouraged space to explore what is happening to you.  Using “I” or “Me” statements to communicate what is in your experience. This is a chance to look inward, to own and fully be with what is true and honest.   Be aware of your impulse to offer advise when someone shares. Take a moment to reflect on what they might really be needing. Maybe it’s empathetic listening, to just be witnessed, a place to vent, etc. If you wish to offer advice - please ask permission - check in with them on what they need before you speak. This is first and foremost a place for self reflection, self inquiry, self accountability, working with our own shadows, and tapping into our own innate ability to tend and heal.  


Listening

We encourage everyone to first “hold empathetic listening space” as someone shares and IF they request guidance in the form of advice or suggestion then we open the floor to feedback at the speaker's request.  Please hold feedback until the speaker indicates they are complete with their share. If you have a question or an offering of feedback or physical touch, it’s important to first ask the speaker whether they are open to receiving your offer. If they are not open, then offer acknowledgement or gratitude to them for having expressed their truth. The use of a “talking stick” can be helpful.  When one person is holding the stick they have the floor. 

*The meetings and shares are a fluid experience and the guidelines above are merely that, guidelines to encourage a certain flavor of sacred container.  If an evening or share goes in a different direction, then it’s an opportunity to explore and reflect. 

New Members Intro

Each quarter the group picks a day to have an “open house” to invite interested folks to join for a meeting.  To get a feel for the group and for all the members present to see if they might be a good fit for the group.  This also is a great way for the group to offer community outreach.   It’s easiest on the group dynamic to bring in one new member at a time (one per quarter).  

Group Business

Any business related topics are best shared on a confidential group conversation thread using a secure app such as Signal or Telegram.  This does three things.  

  1. It allows for the maximum amount of process/support time for the in person meetings.

  2. Things shared on the group thread are archivable and searchable in case someone isn’t at the meeting.  

  3. Writing keeps communication clear and accountable.  

In the event group business is discussed during an in person meeting, whoever is the timekeeper is responsible for recording the basics of what was said and posting it to the group thread.

Conversation Threads 

The group by consensus can pick a platform on which to plan meetings, organize topics, etc. To name a few options:  Slack, Messenger, Telegram, Signal, WhatsApp, Marco Polo. 

Starting Out

It can and usually takes 2 terms (6 months) to build the cohesive momentum of a circle.  It’s important to keep consistency with meetings, open to the flow, and trust that the right group will self select and form over time. 

Thank you for choosing to walk this path of self discovery, support, reflection, strength,vulnerability,  presence, humility, growth, community, and friendship.  We celebrate and honor your journey!